Romantic love as the basis for marriage has only existed since the nineteenth century. Up until then, arranged marriages were the norm, and it served society quite well. -Sheldon Cooper
I learned from A Song of Ice and Fire series (which took the setting on Earth-like Medieval era), that marriage is a duty for highborn lords and ladies. The marriage is for strengthen the family, making allies, and getting more power. Those lords and ladies can not choose who will they married, unless their parents refused the proposals (who often come from the others’ parents).
Marriage is duty.
Yes, I have passed those time when I thought “I’d rather die than married someone I do not love”. I realized I was so innocent, though. I was surrounded by songs, movies, dramas, books, all about love. I liked it at first, when I was at that innocent (unstable) phase, and do you remember what Keane said on their very first hit single?
What is love? It’s something overrated. Kings of Convenience once said, “love is no big truth, driven by the genes, we are simple selfish beings“. It’s just one of human natural procedure to reproduce. So when anyone ask me “Have you ever been in love?”, I would surely answer “No”. I had deep crushes and flings but no, I have never been in love.
The word itself is overrated. The word that only match my family: mom, dad, and my sister. None other. Maybe my fishes and rabbits. And cats. But none other. My friends? I really care about them.
So, sometimes I really want to live a life before marriage based on romantic love. I heard many marriage-by-love ended up in divorce, but less in arranged ones (or maybe because they are arranged, they are less likely to be divorced because it will embarrassed the family).
But things were less complicated. Love is not overrated. Less people fall in love with the wrong person at the wrong time.
Yeah, I live in a place where people must have a significant other in order to be happy. More friends become couple, less friends there for me. The more bonds there.
And I am still. Oh, Sheldon.