Hospital Contemplation

Last April, I got dengue fever that made me had to stay in hospital for.. seven days. I hated it. Those days are worst days of my life, since I was being a burden to my family, no insurance, and for the first time in my life, I was not really “free”.

I had to get up at night to drink my meds, I had to wear mukena all the time because some nurses are men and they come without notifications (I missed some times. Forgive me, Lord), I could not get up from my bed, and the worst of all……………….. I could not go to bathroom without bringing the infusion tube and things. Nightmare.

I got some nightmare too, when the drugs worked, it made my hand itchy all night long. NIGHTMARE.

This hospital experience was like the turning point of my life (haha exaggerating a bit). I realize some points I never see before such as..

  1. I can not doing nothing
  2. I can not live attached to something
  3. Basically I am free

Free. That was the word. I realize that one of the blessings He gave to me is freedom. Freedom to choose, freedom not to be attached, freedom to be home all day but also free to go out anytime. I love being free. The hospital moments was like a jail to me, and you will never realise what you got until you lost it, right?

My infusion wound is not seem to heal until now. Hope you are all healthy.



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