Dear future me, I hope you find this post really really really stupid at the moment you read this.

Well, it is clear now. The problem is, I can not react in the way I thought I will. After analyzing unnecessary feelings, I got some possibilities. Maybe it is because..

  1. I already know the answer.
  2. I already prepare myself to any answer.
  3. I have taught myself not to be attached to almost anything.
  4. I am still hoping for something nearly impossible, that that one was a lie, a big lie.
  5. I still think that I think I know what the future holds, so I am just being calm because I know in the end I will be happy but in fact I don’t (hey, who really do?)

I am still hoping for the last and before it with the least possibilities of all choices that I can think of.

I even can not xoxo any of you. Maybe it is good to cry your heart out, but it is hard when you can’t.

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